On April 24 2007 I had the honor of attending the sixtieth wedding anniversary of Uyghur Sairam and Suyum. Uyghur Sairam was the former vice ambassador to Kazakhstan and the head of the Xinjiang Social Science Institute. His wife Suyum was a prominent professor at Xinjiang University. They were married in 1947 and the night I saw them they were holding hands like teenagers in love. This couple is inspiring especially when divorce rates are climbing in Xinjiang and all over China. 

２００７年４月２４日，我有幸参加维吾尔·沙依然和苏尤木庆祝他们结婚６０周年的纪念晚会。维吾尔·沙依然原是中国驻哈萨克斯坦的副总领事，后来当过中国科学院新疆分院的党组书记、副院长。他的妻子苏尤木是新疆大学的著名教授。他们１９４７年结婚，那天晚上，我看见他们像年轻恋人一样拉着手。这对夫妻给人以启示，尤其是当新疆乃至全中国的离婚率在上升的时候。

Much like China divorce became more common in America when laws were changed. The divorce rate peaked in America in1981 approximately twenty years after the laws first changed. But according to a report by the Associated Press on May 11 2007 the divorce rate in America today is at its lowest since 1970. Experts who say American marriages are becoming healthier point to the rise in college educated couples who tend to have more stable living environments and hence fewer reasons to divorce. Experts who believe American marriages are still extremely unstable state the fact that the marriage rate itself has dropped by 30%. More and more couples are living together without formally tying the knot. When these couples break up it is the equivalent of a divorce.

与中国相似，当法律改变以后，在美国离婚变得越来越普遍。离婚率在 １９８１年达到高峰时，已是美国法律改变 ２０年后了。不过，据２００７年 ５月１１日美联社的报道，目前美国的离婚率是自１９７０年以来最低的。有专家说，美国的婚姻正在变得更健康，专家指出受过大学教育的夫妻增多，他们的生活条件更稳定，因此离婚的原因减少了。另有专家指出，美国的婚姻还是不稳定，因为结婚率本身降低 了３０％，越来越多的夫妻同居但没有结婚。这样的一对男女分手也算是离婚。

Divorce is difficult for all parties involved especially children. My parents split up when I was three years old and I lived with my mother after that. She remarried eleven years later to a man who treats her exceptionally well. This man adopted me and is now my legal father. During my teenage years I saw what a healthy marriage looks like. It is a relationship between two people who talk through their differences who daily express their love to each other and who enjoy each other’s company. When I saw Uyghur Sairam and Suyum at the anniversary party I was reminded of my parents because they too hold hands like teenagers in love.

离婚的双方都不好受，尤其对小孩子的伤害更大。我３岁时父母离了婚，然后我与母亲一起生活。１１年以后她再婚，新丈夫对她非常好，这个男人后来成了我合法的父亲。在我的青少年时期，我看到了一个非常健康的婚姻，也就是说，两个人能够心平气和地讨论矛盾、天天表示爱情并形影不离。看到维吾尔·沙依然和苏尤木在他们结婚６０周年庆祝晚会上的情景时，我想起了我的父母，因为他们也常常像年轻恋人一样拉着手。

People in China often ask my age and whether or not I am married. I am over thirty and still single. These strangers in China usually put more pressure on me to marry than my own family. In fact my family does not pressure me at all. They know that I will not seek stability in a mediocre marriage especially as a child of divorce. I want what my parents and Uyghur Sairam and Suyum have. My standards are high perhaps too high but I believe it is worth waiting for.

在中国，经常有人问我的年龄并问我是否结婚。我３０多岁，还单身一人。这些中国的陌生人给我的压力常常比来自我家庭的多，说实话，我的家人从来不劝我结婚。他们知道我不会通过一个平庸的婚姻来寻找稳定，尤其作为一个离异家庭的孩子。我要的是像我父母及维吾尔·沙依然和苏尤木那样的夫妻关系，我的标准挺高，也许过于高，但我认为那值得等待。