When I was in Japan I found that being an English teacher was much more than providing vocabulary and explaining grammar. I was there to teach communication in a second language. And yet Japanese themselves often had poor communication in their own language. People did not express certain opinions or ideas especially ones that are negative. If they were expressed at all it was extremely subtle. Understanding it depends on awareness of the cultural background which left me in the dark more often than not because I was a foreign teacher and not a language student. One of the most difficult aspects of my job was the cultural reticence to speaking openly.

在日本，我发现当英语老师不仅仅是教授生词和解释语法，而且还教第二门语言的沟通技能。不过，日本人之间的沟通往往不佳。他们不愿意表达某些意见，尤其是消极的意见。如果非要表达的话，那是很微妙的。理解依靠文化背景的意识，我被蒙在鼓里，往往是因为，我是一个外国老师而不是一个语言学生。工作最难的方面之一就是日本文化不情愿直率说话。

Chinese and Japanese are quite similar in this regard. So often I am confronted with situations where people are afraid to communicate their honest opinion. For example I sent an email last month to the Foreign Affairs Office in the university where I study Chinese. I suggested a plan for my Chinese studies next semester that was quite different from the normal way things are done. There was no response even to acknowledge it was received which left me confused. After four years in China I should have known better. No response means ‘no’.

中国人和日本人在这方面是很相似的。我经常遇到中国人害怕诚实交换意见的情况。譬如说，上个月我发电子邮件给我所在的大学外事处提建议，我要求下学期的安排跟一般的安排有区别。没有回信。因为不知道是否收到了，我感到困惑。４年在中国之后，我应该知道没有反应意味着拒绝。

In my first two years in China I was a teacher so I tried to understand how Chinese communicate through their limited English. I was taken aback by what I perceived as directness. Many asked if I had a girlfriend and how old I was. Some of them even told me their deepest secrets. For the following two years I have been a language student. I spend most of my energy trying to understand what people say with my limited Chinese and I am amazed and frustrated by the lack of communication. Politeness and fear of losing face are roadblocks to improving relationships and developing trust.

前两年在中国我是老师，所以通过学生们有限的英语我尽量学习中国人的沟通方式。我吃惊于他们的在我看来是特别直率的说法，即我有没有女友以及我的年龄，其中几个人甚至向我吐露他们心中最深的秘密。接下来的两年我当语言学生。我花费大量的时间凭借我有限的汉语尽量理解人们说的话，令我困惑和惊讶的是沟通的困难。客气和担心丢面子是改善关系和促进信任的障碍。

It has become clear to me over the past few months in dealing with the staff at the foreign affairs office my teacher coworkers and even friends that my knowledge of Chinese is only as proficient as my understanding of their unspoken feelings. This dimension of learning is called pragmatics which means the cultural use of language. In my case I find that even though I speak Chinese words I am still speaking American English because I have not adapted to the local style of communication.

近几个月与外事处工作人员、我的老师、同事甚至朋友等人沟通时，我发现，我对汉语的把握程度，与我对他们没有表达的心情的把握程度是一样的。这方面的学习被称为务实的，也就是语言的文化运用。拿我来说，尽管说的是汉语的词，但我还是在说美式英语，因为我还没有适应当地的沟通方式。

It is no secret that Chinese often hide their feelings. As a language learner however no matter what score I have on the HSK I will not have mastered this language until I understand the things people do not say.

中国人常常保密他们的心思。不过作为语言学生，无论汉语水平考试的成绩如何，如果我不能理解中国人不说的话，我就算没有把中文学到家。