作者Tim Hathaway

The last time I went to a Chinese restaurant in America the young waitress gave me a large glass of ice water. I asked for a cup of tea which caught her off guard. She did not have any hot water prepared? there was only coffee. My relatives who were eating with me also thought it was strange. In America hot drinks are consumed after the meal.

上次去美国的中餐厅，年轻的服务员把冰水送给我。令她惊讶的是我要求上一杯茶。没有热水，只有咖啡。跟我一起吃饭的亲戚觉得我的要求不对劲，因为在美国，热饮料只在就餐后喝。

One of the small ways I have changed since coming to China is that I do not consume a lot of cold beverages anymore. The custom in America is to have ice water with every meal which Chinese restaurants have adapted to. Western restaurants actually try to entice customers with advertisements for cold drinks such as milkshakes. Even when I was in Xinjiang my American friends who own a restaurant always thought I was strange for asking for warm water. They told me that I was becoming Chinese.

自从到中国后，我的一个小的变化就是不经常喝冰水。美国的习俗是每顿饭前喝冰水，甚至在美国的中餐馆也入乡随俗了。为了吸引顾客，西餐馆的广告为冷饮如奶昔。我在新疆因为要求喝开水，连我开西餐厅的朋友也觉得我受到中国的影响太大了，他们说我渐渐变成中国人了。

My friends may have been joking? But the question of how much living abroad changes a person is a deep one. For example children who are born in one country but spend a significant amount of time in another are called “third culture kids”. Their characters and experiences are borne of two different cultures and yet the end result is a child who has a unique set of traits that do not wholly mesh with either culture. For an adult such as myself there is much less influence because my character has already been formed. Frankly even after four and a half years in China I cannot say my character has changed much at all.

尽管是朋友的玩笑，但居住在国外对一个人的改变是一个深刻的问题，譬如说诞生在某一个国家但在另外一个国家长大的孩子，被称为“第三种文化的孩子”。性格和经验都从两种不同文化而来，但结果是孩子的独特性格不能与两种文化中的任何一种和谐。对于我这样的成年人，影响较少是因为性格已经固定了。说实话，我在中国待了４年半后，还不能说我的性格有多大变化。

This is not to say I have not changed. My friends remind me of this whenever I ask for hot water. However the most profound way I have changed is in my attitudes and opinions. Prior to coming to China I read many books about the culture and history and yet I knew nothing about what it means to be Chinese. I had no idea about the great themes in people’s lives the intense competition the desire for stability the ambivalence about modern change. In America our themes are the abundance of choice the pursuit of happiness and the constant need to adapt to change. 

这不是说我没有变化。我每次要开水时朋友就提醒我。不过，最深刻的变化是我的态度和看法。来中国之前，我读过很多有关文化和历史的书，但我还没有了解做中国人的意义。我从不知道他们生活的大课题：激烈的竞争、求稳定的欲望和对现代变化的矛盾情绪等。在美国，我们的大课题是：丰富的选择、快乐的追求和不断适应变化的需要。

For the past few weeks I have been with my family and friends in America and have had many conversations about China. We struggle to understand what China’s change means for America and for Chinese. I have changed in that I can talk about this both from Chinese and American perspectives but I prefer to do it over a nice hot cup of tea.

近几个星期，我与家人和朋友在美国常常谈到中国。我们很难理解中国的变化对美国和中国的意义如何。我自己的改变是，我能从美国和中国两个角度谈谈这个话题，不过我还是觉得最好一边谈这个话题，一边喝杯热茶。